How to Cope with Loneliness when You're Traveling Solo

Traveling solo is a fantastic opportunity to push your boundaries, realize what you’re capable of, and gain confidence in your ability to tackle any problem— from deciphering confusing public transportation systems in India to successfully bartering for overpriced momos in Nepal. We tend to gloss over the struggle that this growth presents us with, which can leave travelers feeling lonely and ashamed for not enjoying every moment of their far-flung adventure. These are my tips for enjoying time with yourself and making friends along the way.

Make New Friends

Social Housing

The most obvious fix to feeling alone is to make some new friends wherever you are. An easy way to meet other travelers is to stay at hostels with active social scenes. You can easily meet up with a group and find people in similar situations to talk with. Homestays, where you stay in the home of a local family, and Couchsurfing are additional options for meeting others through your housing.

Become a Regular at a Local Cafe

My favorite way to meet new people is to find a local coffee shop to frequent and then start conversations with the people I meet there. I usually paint in coffee shops, which makes a good conversation starter, but you just need to be bold and introduce yourself to make a new friend! Once I met an art teacher while sketching at a coffee shop in Dali, China. She invited me to come to an art class the next morning and I ended up teaching a watercolor lesson to thirty college students and a monk from Shangri-La in a meadow in Yunnan.

Online Travel Groups

There are a plethora of online groups for solo travelers that you can join. These groups are great for getting inspiration from other travelers, finding people in the same location as you, and for crowdsourcing advice from travelers around the world. Solo Traveler, Girls Love Travel, and The Solo Female Traveler Network are all great places to start.

Join a Group Tour

Just because you’re traveling solo doesn’t mean you have to travel alone all the time. You can sign up for a group tour, trek with a guide, or just show up for a free city tour. You’ll meet others who are interested in the same activities as you.

Dating Apps

Love them or hate them, dating apps are an excellent way to meet people quickly in new places. Apps like Bumble have BFF versions to meet friends that you aren’t interested in romantically, and Tinder is very efficient for finding people to meet up with. Always meet people in public places and let someone know what your plan is, but don’t be afraid to utilize this option!

Be Present Where You Are

Take a Break from Social Media

It’s a lot easier to fall into the FOMO trap if you know what you’re missing out on. If loneliness is hitting hard, taking a break from social media to fully absorb where you are can be a good place to start. You can talk to your friends on a messaging app like WhatsApp instead. Replace the habit of scrolling through Facebook and Instagram with editing travel photos with an app like VSCO or sketching.

Research exciting adventures to try next

Change your focus from what you’re missing to the incredible opportunities you have to explore the places you’re visiting. Plan out a day trip to a beautiful waterfall or research transportation see a famous temple for the following week. Remind yourself why you wanted to come in the first place.

Invest in your Friends back Home

Call and Message

You don’t have to cut off your friendships just because you’re traveling! It’s easy to stay in touch with apps like WhatsApp or Skype that allow you to call and chat with people on the other side of the world for free via wifi. Set up times to call and focus on having meaningful conversations instead of chatting constantly.

Write Postcards

If there are large time differences and finding time to talk is difficult, write letters. You can write a postcard when you are feeling lonely and all your friends at home are asleep. Send it in the mail and your friend will get a lovely surprise when it finally arrives. There’s something magical about the tactile nature of a hand-written postcard and they provide a great time capsule of your journey as well. I mail myself a postcard from each place I visit so that when I go home, I’ll have a whole collection of memories to relive.

Invest in your Mental and Physical health

Exercise

As Elle Woods told us in Legally Blonde, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.” Go for a run, get outside for a stroll in the park, or do 15 squats. Moving your body might not fix all your problems but it’s a good start!

Wake Up Early

I find that if I get out of bed after 10 am, I feel sluggish all day. Anyone else? Do yourself a favor and get started early. If you’re like me then you’ll feel more productive, happy, and on top of your sh*t than if you hang around the hostel all morning. There’s also something magic about experiencing a place in the early morning.

Pamper Yourself

Traveling long-term can put a lot of wear and tear on your body and mind. Give yourself a restful and relaxing day to feel like a human again. This might look like springing for a massage, getting your nails done, or just paying $3 extra for a hot shower and deep-cleaning your hair. Put on your nicest outfit and remind yourself that the travel-dirtbag version of you isn’t the only one.

The $5 Rule

Splurging to feel better can come with a lot of guilt when you’re on a tight budget, so I like to set a $5 rule. If I’m having a rough day, I can spoil myself with something $5 or less with no strings attached. This sometimes looks like enjoying a fancy floral latte, buying a new tube of paint, or spoiling myself with even more colorful pens. All that matters is that this little gift to yourself gets you out of bed, gets you excited, and doesn’t break the bank.

Find ways to Relish Being Alone

Productive Hobbies

Invest in hobbies that are fun to do alone. Maybe embroidery is your jam, or deep-diving into novels. Building hyper-specific Spotify playlists is one of my favorites. I like travel hobbies that don’t take up much space in your bag, show clear progress, and that you can do anywhere. Sketching, watercolor painting, and listening to podcasts are classics.

Journaling

Keeping a travel journal gives you a way to synthesize your thoughts and get them out of your brain without having another person to talk with. You can also go back and re-read your past adventures when you’re feeling sad to remind yourself that you’ve done some bad*ss shit and that you can get through this challenge too. I also keep a log of five things I’m grateful for each night, which reminds me to think positively throughout the day and gives me a log of what I did every day of my trip.

Plan itineraries only you’d love

Being alone comes with some clear benefits— you get to pick the itinerary every day and never have to compromise. If you’re feeling lonely, go on an adventure that’s totally you that your friends wouldn’t ever go for. Spend all day at a public library! Go to every coffee shop within 3 miles and order the most visually interesting drink on the menu!

Eat out solo

Eating out alone can also be a great opportunity to practice mindful eating and appreciate the flavor and texture of the food you’re consuming. It’s also far easier to get a table for one at popular restaurants than when you’re traveling with a big group. If you’re nervous about eating alone, bring a notebook or some postcards. That way you have something to occupy yourself besides just staring blankly at your phone. People-watching is another great activity when dining solo, or sketching in your notebook.

Remember that it’s Okay to be Sad

Embrace the Challenge

Being lonely is part of the challenge of traveling solo and part of where our ability to grow comes from. Try to embrace the moments of pain and recognize them for what they are— stepping stones to growth. And, worst case scenario, you’ll have a new appreciation for your friends and family once your solo adventure is over!